Human Error, Margin of Error

by MiMi Scardulla

Um hi sorry I’m a little late, but I just have a lot of questions.

OK.. I’ll just jump in if that’s cool? Great!

·         Will I really take the subway?

·         Will every auditon be like the opening to All That Jazz?

·         Is Brooklyn as cool to live in as Girls makes it seem to be?

·         Will my life turn into Girls?

·         How do you be an early 20s artist in New York?

Oh, wait! Hold on. I forgot I’m here to answer questions and tell you about myself not to ask questions. Sorry!

Hey ya’ll! MiMi Scardulla here giving you early 20s New York City artist realness. I promise you its realness because honey I ain’t never felt this real in my life. Being a young artist in New York is thrilling and “poop your pants” scary all at the same time. However, if you don’t read one more sentence of this post my knowledge comes down to this. You are a human first with a human body, human emotions, and human failure. THAT IS OK AND OFTEN WILL LEAD TO LOTS OF BEAUTY.

Cool! I’m done! Byeeeee!

Haha Just kidding I bet you would like to know how I got here.

Well, I’m a girl from small town Louisiana who had an amazing mother who did whatever she had to do make my dreams a reality. She still does. Her most valiant and successful effort was exposing me to the amazing faculty that is now part of The Performing Arts Project. I have learned to survive in New York more from the people and curriculum at that program than any other walk of life. I’ll explain. Pay attention because there will be a quiz later. We’ll start this week with just two examples that get my story started.

                Dave Clemmons: Coached me through the insanity that is College auditions and helped me get into my dream school The Boston Conservatory.

                Susan Misner: Taught me that every idea is valid and has potential to be expressed through movement. Also, that a dog can be the light of your life and anyone who doesn’t understand that doesn’t have a dog.

 

Now grab your Apple TV remote and fast forward to September of this year.

 I am in final callbacks for an Off Broadway show called Gigantic. I had done earlier workshops of the show and had gone through another brutal round of callbacks and was waiting to get “the call”. (You will spend many a night waiting for the call. Sometimes it comes and sometimes you go to the store and buy cookies.) After two weeks I got “the call”, well really the email offering me the role….and five minutes later it was taken away. I was terrified. What had I done in five minutes!? Who did I call? Dave. He talked me through the whole process and once again offered guidance into how to move forward. Five days later when they gave the offer back to me Dave was the first person I called full of joy and relief. It was the same call I made to him four years earlier when I got my acceptance letter to the Boston Conservatory.

With that offer I took a year leave from school and headed to the big city. Three Bucks, way more than two bags, and one MiMi. It was the perfect life. I woke up in the morning, made my coffee, took the train to Times Square, listened to my pump up playlist, and rehearsed to make my New York/Off Broadway Debut. Then the show opened and I got to feel like a star. And THEN…the show closed. So, I was another talented actor living in New York.

 

I Wake up at 7am.  I get Coffee. I warm up. I sign up for 3 auditions. I go to 3 auditions. I go home. I check my email. I get no email. I go to bed. I Wake up at 7am.  I get Coffee. I warm up. I sign up for 3 auditions. I go to 3 auditions. I go home. I check my email. I get no email. I go to bed. I Wake up at 7am.  I get Coffee. I warm up. I sign up for 3 auditions. I go to 3 auditions. I go home. I check my email. I get no email. I go to bed. I Wake up at 7am.  I get Coffee. I warm up. I sign up for 3 auditions. I go to 3 auditions. I go home. I check my email. I get no email. I go to bed. I Wake up at 7am.  I get Coffee. I warm up. I sign up for 3 auditions. I go to 3 auditions. I go home. I check my email. I get no email. I go to bed.

 

Just read that sentence 60 more times and you’ll understand what my life was. For two months I allowed myself to become an audition robot. I would wait in lines that sometimes made me feel like I was in the opening of All That Jazz. Then I woke up one morning and, this is going to sound like an episode of girls, looked in the mirror at my full beat face at 8:30am and cried. I wasn’t looking at an artist. I was looking at a lifeless 16 bar cut monster. I knew I had to change something, but still I had auditions to get to so I put on my headphones and left the house. On the subway I was listening to a song and started to choreograph a dance. The man next to me was concerned I was seizing but as I laughed and assured him I wasn’t I realized that my whole body felt lighter and happier.

Then I heard it.

“HELLO MIMI YOU ARE A CREATOR. ARTIST DON’T JUST SING 16 BAR CUTS AND DO DOUBLE TURN TYPE OUTS. THEY CREATE. YOU HAVE THE IDEAS NOW USE THEM. Love, Suse”

 

Suse might not have yelled that at me, or maybe she would have we’ll never know, but her voice in my head did and it woke me up! I had been having three ideas a day for new works and I was wasting them because I was too busy doing the same damn thing. So, the next idea that came I started to build upon it. I created the story board. I thought of the choreography. I found the dancers, and before I knew it I was happy again. Now, do not get me wrong you’re an ARTIST in New York City you need to want to get a job. I’m not saying stop auditioning. However, the minute I started creating again my auditions started going so much better for me. I started getting responses. I was walking into the room and finally being the super cool awesome totally rad human that I am. I wasn’t being the Miss Early Twenties Robot I was turning into. Thank Goodness right?

 

And that’s where I am sweet Bloggie peeps. I am MiMi Scardulla. I audition every day. I create something every day. Whether that is a dance or a song to get my beautiful dog Gypsy to go number 2 it is something I create. I allowed myself to fall down. I let myself feel that low. I picked myself up. I was really happy. I was really sad. There are days I go through the entire emotional scale. I am a twenty-two year old artist living in New York City. I am human.

 

Let’s see what happens to me now!